It’s funny, it’s cliche, it’s stupid - but it’s true. I don’t believe in love anymore.

Romance, it won’t work for me anymore, I believe. Not now when I know deep down that I’m so scared of falling in love one more time. I don’t want to feel all those things - the excitement, the butterflies, the happiness - only to be deprived of it again after a while. I’m sorry to the next person that would want to be with me, but I can’t bring myself to think of myself in a relationship again anytime soon.

I want to be alone.

BUT..

• I’m reading Robert Kirkman’s book ‘The Walking Dead: The rise of the governor’ and it won’t let me sleep. FUCKING AMAZING.
• I just tweeted Norman Reedus a really cute picture I found online. Wonder if he ever gets to see it…
• My body is aching because of the ‘100 workout’ I did today. Who invented that workout?! Why do I feel like it’s going to make me lose all my weight? :P
• Thinking of maybe downloading Downtown Abbey…
• The way I blog now kinda reminds me of James Deen’s blog. (Not that I ever visited that blog, cmon. www.jamesdeenblog.com)
• I am laying in bed right now wondering if those girls in porn actually like what they’re doing or are they just doing it for money?
• What time is my call time tomorrow?

OH RIGHT, 8 AM. Fuck. Goodnight.

Sometimes we pretend to be happy in hopes of convincing not only those around us, but also ourselves. We fake a smile, we laugh out loud and we force ourselves to feel things we know we don’t truly feel.

We’re all liars.

We lie to ourselves.

Isn’t it funny how we take up so much time trying to build a relationship and making it work, only to end and sum it up in a small box locked inside a cabinet drawer.

I think it’s a concrete way of showing how people cope with heartbreak - by locking up the feelings inside until they completely forget about it.

All those years, crammed inside a box like it never even meant anything to anyone once.

Funny.